Did you know my Iphone was stolen?
I had to dig around in my basement for an old phone to use until a couple hundred bucks fell in my lap for a new smart phone. No fat envelopes of cash have been tucked into my mailbox. So — I’ve been rocking an old flip phone for the last month and a half.
Reach back into your memory. Somewhere between Y2k and Justin Timberlake ripping off Janet Jackson’s shirt. Can you remember the Nokia? It had the best phone game ever – I don’t care what you candy crushers gotta say about it.
Old School Nokia. Snake!
The Motorola flip that closed with such a thwack it made high schoolers feel like they meant business?
I’ve spent over 45 days with a flip phone now, a jankety thing that won’t work unless I have it on speaker. I won’t lie – and you can judge me – its been a tough transition. Here are a couple of things I’ve noticed.
1.) T9 will be the end of me. This method of texting is so completely, utterly discouraging that I would rather just not communicate with you. I’ll either respond to your text with a call (which I know you hate and is a violation of our unspoken social texting contract) or I won’t respond at all. This is especially the case when a text calls for an unusual word. Proper nouns? Forget it. You’ll just never know that Hawthorne’s has a fire going, or that Kathleen Norris is definitely a Four on the Enneagram.
2.) Life on the toilet is much less interesting. Let’s just be totally honest here – you know you do it, too (please say you do, please say you do) You’ve taken your phone into bathrooms at restaurants to catch up on texts or a quick email. Even at home, maybe you’ll have your phone on the sink and then just flick through the facebook or instagram feed while you take care of business. It’s down time, really. And who just sits and stares into space during down time, right?
3.) Waiting is harder. My Iphone guaranteed entertainment for me every minute of every day. My biggest challenge of life sans smart phone came on Day 1 – the DMV. That’s right. Waiting at the DMV… without a smart phone. I watched the toddler in front of me eat cheetohs and climb under chairs for the better part of an hour.
I could go on.
But here is something strange – When my mother graciously offered to get me a smart phone for Christmas, I said … no thanks.
I might eventually spring for one myself, but after a month and a half with this old flip phone, I have to admit that the urgency is gone. I’ve learned to endure chunks of time without any media stimulation whatsoever (including loo time). I text less, which, ultimately, means nothing. I’m on Facebook and Instagram less, too, which, ultimately, means I am a little happier. I also take less pictures, which is too bad. But if I remember I have something called a camera somewhere in the basement…